Fault

I wish i can turn back time.
I am seriously at fault.
How do i repay this?
How do i make things right?
**** you girl.
Why do you loose control? Every month.
I should behaved well that day.
Dr love said I don't need to repay.
But Dr love doesn't know I am at fault.
O Allah, please make things right again.
Feel like stabbing myself 100 times :(

Abnormal

She's not normal
She's different.
How different?
When all girls were crazy of korean pop stars,
She didn't.
Play her a korean song,
I don't think it suits her ears.
Except for certain sad songs that touched her heart.
Seems easy to touch her heart?
Perhaps. But to grab it?
I doubt you could.

She's not normal
She dreams of an unusual love story
She doesn't need one who wouldn't stop asking for a date
She doesn't need those sweet talkers;
It may be sweet to others but meaningless to her
Words may make her feel flattered,
But rarely make her fall.
Excuse me, did i said rarely?
Almost like never.
Oh it's not that she doesn't want such a romantic husband
For a husband,  who doesn't want that?
For a not yet husband,  the further you stand would be better, i guess?
Tell me, which relationship made of lust would last long?

Love,
Bulan

The beauty of Turkey

Turk,
Whenever I think of you
I felt something
Like there is unfinished business there
As if I left something there
I dont know what
Maybe my eyes; i can still imagine the beauty of you, Subhanallah
Perhaps my skin; i can feel the breeze there
Or my heart?; who wouldn't fall for your beauty? Allahuakbar
Somehow, there's a saying goes

"Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik negeri sendiri"

"Gold in the land of rain, hail in their own country, the better the state itself" (direct translation by google translate)

But I seriously felt something about you, Turkey
maybe because I didnt buy that gorgeous soft light expensive leather jacket
or did i feel guilty for lost contacting with friends i made there?

Guess I just miss having such a long vacation *sigh*

Love, Bulan

I Don't Belong Here

I wish i were a little girl
who really knows all she ever wanted is nothing
but that little cute doll that she saw on the TV advertisement.
Having that little doll
will make her dream come true,
will brigthen up her life
and cheers her up.

I wish i were that little girl
because at this very moment
I tried to think hardly
As hard as i may cut a diamond with this thinking thing
Thinking of
What do i want in my life
What will make me happy
What do i want to achieve
Yet i found nothing
Only nothing, and no 'but'
And this makes me wonder
Why am I here..?

Love, Bulan.

P/s: these remind me of Creep song by Radiohead.

"but im a creep,
Im a weirdo
What the hell am i doing here
I dont belong here"

No, im not going to commit a suicide. Lol.