Hopeless

Sometimes I feel that everybody’s life will get better if I am not here.

Love, Bulan

Beautiful Journey

One fine day
We gonna 
Walk around the globe
Dance in the sky
Lie down by the stars
Smile to journey we had together
We will ❤️

Love, Bulan

Undelivered Love Letter II

Dear sweetheart,
Mummy is doing just fine after losing you
Just that..
Sometimes I miss you
I miss the moment when both of us were eager to know if you were there
I miss the moment when I touch my tummy
And I knew you were there
But don’t worry
I’m perfectly moved on
I perfectly understand why Allah took you from me
Just, that feeling comes to me sometimes
Especially when there’s stories of baby around me
But don’t worry
Mummy will be perfectly fine
And I’ll be waiting for the right time. ❤️


Love, Bulan

You

All my days
I wasn't expecting for you
Not that I don't want you
Just that I don't really mind about it
Really don't mind

Till the day the sign cames
Everything changes
I was hoping that my guess is true
I knew you were true
I was very sure

I cared for you in everything I do
I believe you were there
I am excited to have you
I take a good care of you as much as I could
You were there listening to me mumbling things
You were there as part of my happiness

Till the day it was confirmed
True, you were there
But you have to go

It was a wonderful days with you
Now I know the feeling of having you
Tho for a short time
I get to feel happy
I wish I didn't have to lose you
I know, it was just not the right time yet

I might seems normal
But deep down
It was a big lost for me
I haven't move on yet

I need some strength
Some time

Love, Bulan

I Hope You Know..

Dear you,
When I married to you soon,
I will put you as one of my top priority.
You will be my everything**
I will give you my everything
But please know that
you might be my only ears*
I hope that you wont be tired of listening to me
I might have no other person to listen to my nonsense things.
Well, I just love sharing things that I see, that I heard, that I feel.
Just as I always do.

Please know that
I will treasure our precious moments
through thick and thin
but I may forgot a few things
Please don't be mad,
You know how bad my memory is
thought I might have amnesia
but luckily I passed the online tests on the social media
Not sure how far the truth is
But hopefully it is true enough
In syaa Allah

Please know that
I have chose you now 
because my beloved Allah made me feel this way
and I will not take you for granted.

I pray to Allah that
We will live happily ever after. In syaa Allah


Love, Bulan





**after Allah & Rasulullah
*after Allah

Catch Me

And I let myself falls freely
Because I know
You are there to catch me

Love, Bulan

Life Story

Dear Allah,
I love this story that you created for me
Please ease it till heaven :)

Love, Bulan

Moving On?

I was about to give up
Thinking of moving on
But I stopped
What am I moving on from?
A friendship?
That does not make any sense
Allah created relationships among humans not to be broken
And I stopped
I think I know the reason why
Allah always knows the best
Too much sweets can make you a diabetic right?
Maybe it is a reason to prevent any misunderstanding among people around us
Perhaps to avoid my future partner from being insecure?
It could be many other reasons
But I believe Allah knows the best.


Love, Bulan


P/s:
Dear good friend,
Now I realized that the way I pushed things were not in a proper way. And I deserved to be pushed much far away. It is okay. I just wish for your endless happiness :)

Fantasy Life?

Nowadays,
I woke up every morning
Wishing I don't have to do this hard work
I just want to have a simple life
What about the new clothes?
Handbag?
Purse?
Phone?
I have been thinking for some time
And it reminds me on one of my post..
I don't need the world
Yes..
I don't need the world
As long as I have your love
As long as I have my supportive beautiful mother by my side
As long as I have my beloved family
As long as I have the one true love, Allah.

Can I just forget about the price tag?
Am I living in a fantasy?


Love, Bulan

#np Price Tag - Jessie J

Cintaku di Capadocia

Of all the places I have been,
Turkey is my 2nd favorite.
I wish to go there with you
If we have some money
Someday..

Love, Bulan


#baruhabistengokcintakudicappadocia

Change

Alhamdulillah
I wasn't expecting anything from you
But turns out it is right
The lower your expectations, the better the result is
Like a hypothesis huh? What a student thinking that I have. I missed being a student
Okay it wasn't about me but it was you
Perhaps you have changed a lot
Changed in a better perspective
Thank you
I hope you will have a joyful life
Joy of living
Joy of forgiving
Joy of worshipping.



Love, Bulan

Ex boss

So my ex boss texted me telling he dreamt of me
I was crying hardly like very bad in his dream
Feels quite flattered knowing my ex boss actually remembered me
And yes, sometimes i felt so depressed
Sometime i felt like quitting
Sometime I was wondering how he could do things alone all this while
I missed you la Mr S
Somehow, life has to move on T.T
Thank You Allah
I know this is an inspiration from You to give me strength
I heart You, my Lord :)

Love, Bulan

Future?

Last night I had a dream
We are married
I don't know if it was a sign
Or it was just me
But I'm happy
I'm really happy in my dream

In my dream,
I was watching TV
I was watching without you by my side
But I felt really grateful
For I know we are married

In my dream,
We were having a walk
I didn't dream of holding your hands
I didn't dream of anything but just a normal walk
But I felt really happy
I'm really happy that I am married to you

First  time in my life
I feel really sure
Without any doubt
I wish it was not a dream
I wish you could feel what I felt
The feeling for being free of worry
The happiness for knowing we have each other
It was unexplainable
Tho it was just a dream


Love, Bulan

Home

I travelled years, never knew where to start
To find you my dear, thousands miles apart

You could be roses, that have many thorns
That's how they said it, that's what they warned,
But I don't mind, not even torn
Because it feels like I have known you since born

Let's compose our song for our own prom
Let's build our dream,  together we roam
I will be with you even to the rome
Because with you, it feels like home
Love, Bulan

Make It True

I dreamt of a friend last night
We were having fun
Talking
Like we always did
It seems so real
I thought it was real
But when I woke up,
I realized
It was just a dream
But I believe it will come true
Because I know my Lord hears me
And I believe my Lord will make it true
I will be waiting
The time for all of us to reunite

Love, Bulan

I am missing you

You know how much i miss Turkey..
How I will feel sad when I thought of Turkey..

It's been a week since I get back from baitullah
I miss there more than Turkey
I even cried thinking of Makkah

*breath in, breath out*
I'm not gonna cry here
Here in the KFC. Well it's lunch hour..

The feeling there..
The peace that I feel there
The luxury of time to pray there
To recite quran
The chance to perform Solat Jenazah after every Fardhu
I will never get it here
I wish..
I wish I could live there
eversince I get back
I thought of leaving my works
I don't need the world
As long as I have my life
A life to spend with my Lord
Somehow..yes..I need to earn in order to live
But I don't need the whole world
I will find my way to you
I don't need the world

Love, Bulan

P/s: Dear future me, if you feel like getting out of track,  please remember this post, so you won't fall out too far. Remember. You. Don't. Need. The. World. 

A Wish

A few months back, I felt so lost that I couldn't find my one. I left those that are coming for me and i chased those that weren't belong to me. I felt so depressed until I was hoping for this one wish. A wish that I didn't know if I could make it true. I told my mom, "Bu, I want to save money and  go for umrah". My mom was surprised with this sudden decision and asked me why. "I want to pray for my soul mate," i replied. I need to let go this burden, there's nothing more to hide from mom. Being realistic, my mom advised, 'It isn't necessarily to go there and pray. You can still pray here. Allah always hear us". She was right. But I really want to go for umrah. I will save some money, I talked to myself.

Long story make it short,
Alhamdulillah. Here I am in Makkah.
Thank you mummy.
Alhamdulillah for the fortune you gave me.
Alhamdulillah. Allah heard me.
Alhamdulillah. I know You always hear me.
Alhamdulillah. You always there for me.
Alhamdulillah. I love you more each and every single day Ya Rabbi.

Love, Bulan

P/s: This umrah wasn't just for praying sake but for the sake of Allah. Im hoping for istiqamah in every goods I have done here. 

Why So Soon?

"Have you heard of any bird whispering?" -B
"Whispering? On what? " - me
"Your department " -B
I looked at the resume on his desk. Did they decide to take her to replace me? Less than possible - may be possible because everything is possible when lord say yes. Why would they do so?
"Your boss is resigning" -B
Laugh. "Are you serious or not?" -me
"Serious lah. That's why I'm telling you this" -B
Speechless. I knew he is gonna leave but not as this soon.
"Gotta hire someone to help you" -B

Boss... I told you not to leave so soon... Oh, you didn't read my blog. Didn't even know i have one. Lol. Am I ready for this? Gosh. I'm seriously bad at saying goodbye. Please be prepared to see my eye leaking!

Love, Bulan

Catch me

Please, catch me when I am falling.
Because I was just about to stand up.
And I am not strong.

Love, Bulan

Please recover soonest!

I was just arrived home
And suddenly thought on how do you do
And was thinking to ask you after shower and dinner
But I checked my message first before anything else
And so I read a message you were admitted into hospital
In your worst condition ever
Poor you my friend
Allah is testing you
Be tough, be strong
As you always do
May you recover soon
May you have a long live
So you can contribute more
You are one with a good heart
You are one that makes me feel like I am belong to this group
When I was definitely different from the others
Allahuakbar
Please protect this good friend.

Love, Bulan

P/s: thank you for bringing me there. I know you've changed a lot :)

Boyfriend Song

We were listening to this one song on the radio
I couldn't remember the lyrics or the title
But the singer voice sounds like....
"it sound like 'your' boyfriend singing to you right? " - me
"yeah.. Wait, how do you know how my boyfriend sounds like?" - a
"i was talking about a random boyfriend lah! Kantoi!" - me

Love, Bulan

Acrophobia

I am having acrophobia
But I am not just going to accept that
I dare myself to go high
Fourth floor is enough to make me feel like falling
But I climb the wall and look beneath
I climb the plant to the top
Still having acrophobia
But lesser
But that makes me fear even more
I fear that one day I will not afraid of height anymore
And I feel comfort being at the top
Because the wheel is round
And you never know where you will be next



Love, Bulan

Engineer vs Pharmacist

A wannabe engineer be like " Pharmacist senang la.. tengok ubat apa, advise makan macam mane".
While a pharmacist be like "Senangnya kerja engineer. set machine, dah, setel"

Senang?? hahaha. Saying is easier than doing la kan. Tengok orang punya semuanya nampak elok. Learn to appreciate and be grateful. Semua orang ada masalah sendiri, bergantung pada their level of capability because Allah knows the best.

Love, Bulan

Be with us!

Salam,
Hi there.
Maybe I'm too coward to say things directly to you.
Call me whatever
But the truth is I'm afraid that I would annoy you.
Hope you're still reading this page but
I guess you have stopped since few months back.
I was scrolling our old convy and I feel that I'm at fault.
I thought you were full of ego but it turns up that I'm the one.
I was so emotional and talk like craps.
Rasa nak penyepak je kan. Lol.
Well, truth is I love our friendship
It shouldn't end that way
It shouldn't end at all
Would you be my bestfriend and talk crap with me again, with us again?


Love, Bulan

Ship

Hi there.
Jazakallah.
Are you still thinking of me?
I bet you are.
Because I am wondering if you are doing fine.
Come on.. We used to be so close.
I count on you and you can count on me.
What happen now?
We are separated by...??
Guess we can't get back to normal..
If you were still holding 'it' over our years of friendship.
Come on.. Is that the value of our friendship?
I thought friendship is the most valuable thing in the world.
Can you be the old you that i used to know?

Love, Bulan

Time

It is me. It is always me.
They are all perfectly good.
I am the problem.
Thought i was ready.
But Allah knows better.
I couldn't open my heart yet.
Keep running from what is coming
And chasing after what is going.
Allah knows better.
Maybe I am not ready, not as what i thought.
Maybe it is time to get ready first.
Maybe it is time to improve myself further.
The time just hasn't come yet.
I will wait.
The time will come.
The time will come.

Love,
Bulan

The Weekenderz

A few days back,
"wanna go gokarting ? " - A
"i'd love to!" -me

A day before yesterday,
"so are you joining us to the wall climbing? " - B
"not sure yet. I'm waiting for confirmation from my friend" - me
"hey, I'm not sure if we can go for go-kart tomorrow. Let me check back" - A
"sure no problem" - me

Yesterday
"hey, so how's the plan? " - me
8.30am, still no reply from A.
"my friend still didn't confirm yet. I think I would like to join you guys" - me
"lets go!" - B

And so I joined the weekenderz. They were great, easy to click, supportive and sporting. And it was seriously fun that I should regret if I didn't join. I would love to join them some more next time. Thanks Allah for bringing me there. I love you. I know You are the best planner ever!

Love,
Bulan

P/s: with all the supportive words, I just discovered a new side of me and understand myself even more.
Life is too short for you to waste time moaning over things ; in this case, plan cancelled. Just go get up and grab what you can while you still can!

Rindu Kau Semua

Aku rindu
Sumpah aku rindu
Saat kita bercanda beramai
Kala otak terbang tanpa sangkar
Bermadah yang tak masuk akal
Hati mana yang tak ceria bersama engkorang?
Buang masa? Leka? - Ini merehatkan jiwa namanya
Sekali sekala lari dari dunia pancaroba
Sungguh aku rindu
Tapi masa tak boleh diputar
Hidup sudah berbeza
Dan pasti bakal makin berubah
Tapi aku harap ikatan aku bersama engkorang utuh selalu
Walau ada satu dua seperti mula melonggar
Tak apa.. Aku fleksible
Aku boleh sesuaikan diri
Boleh kekal dalam circle yang sama

Love,
Bulan

Beach

I wish the world is totally in peace
So nobody would worry if
I went to the beach alone
And sit by the fire
Read my favourite novel
Or maybe do some puzzle while
Listen to the pop sounds as the sticks get burned
With the song of the waves 
*take a deep breath*
And the scent of fresh breeze..
How relaxing...

Love,
Bulan

P/s: please ease my feeling

A Step Back

I've been thinking..
And i realized
I've think too long
Perhaps too much
So I'm gonna take a step back
To breath peacefully
And do what I always did.
What else could I do anyway?

Love,
Bulan

P/s: true when they said it's impossible for us to be just bestfriends 

Keep Calm

No worry.
If it meant to be,
you will find the way
and i will wait.

Love,
Bulan